Pika's Rant Log

This journal's been more or less FO for a while now, so I figured I might as well go ahead, take the plunge, and post a bright, obnoxious, oversharpened, gradient-abusing banner to make it nice and official. XP Complete randomness, memes, and that sort of thing will prob'ly still be public, but for the most part, this journal is FO. If you want to friend me, leave a comment saying where I might know you from, and I will mock you for your horrid taste and low standards likely friend you back.

If you're looking for icons, no need to friend me for that. Just go here: casa_de_pika. All the posts there are public, and ripe for the plunderring.

Oh, and click here too! :P

Captain's Log. Stardate 11.13.08

Pika arrives in the galaxy known as "work" and notices a stray Mac has set up shop in her cubicle. Shields are raised, Pika switches to red alert, and the proper authorities are notified:

Dear IT Helpdesk:

I must alert you to a rather urgent and dire technological catastrophe. There is a Mac in my cubicle.

Norton, Avast, and various metaphysical cleansing rituals have failed to neutralize the threat. I fear this is far more serious than I thought. Please send help immediately. And by help, I mean a rather large sledgehammer.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this critical issue.

Katy [Pika's last name here]
Tech Support


Captain's Log. Stardate 11.14.08

Pika arrives once again in the Work quadrant and finds a hostile alien force has invaded her cube.
( A very very hostile force )

GIP!!!

Okay, done being a tool now. Steal it if ya want it!

*runs away*

Dear Fashion Police:

I hereby inform you of my status as a conscientious objector to your totalitarian regime, and it is my intention to not only dodge the draft, resist arrest, and repeatedly engage in disorderly conduct, but to protest your oppressive reign loudly, fervently, and at every available opportunity.

Please be advised of the following:

* Labor Day has come and gone. I do not actually own any white shoes or white pants, but if I did, I would wear them just to piss you off.

* No, my shoes do not match my purse. Find me a pair of sparkly blue shoes that say "Angel U" across the top in pink and silver glittery writing, however, and this can be easily remedied. Conversely, find me a handbag made out of thin fuchsia plastic that is equipped with built-in LED lights that flash three different colors when I walk, and the problem will likewise be solved.

* I fully agree that my eyeshadow should be carefully chosen to complement the color of my eyes. Therefore, in the name of practicality, I have chosen to wear mismatched colored contact lenses, so as to double the odds of my eyeshadow meeting the criteria, at least with one eye if not both.

* Please note that I do indeed pay careful attention to television and magazines when I am choosing accessories with which to adorn myself. Aforementioned influences include, but are not limited to: MAD, Nintendo Power, various mangas, That 70's Show, I Love the 80's, Rainbow Brite, and Pokemon.

* No, I do not believe walking down the street wearing a pair of hot pink legwarmers to be the least bit acceptable....unless I have purple Converse Hi-Tops and a neon green mini skirt worn over bright aqua leggings to complete the look. Sideways ponytail is optional.

* Yes, I still have my crimping iron from 1989. Yes, it still works. Yes, I still use it. No, I am not ashamed.

* Unfortunately, my place of employment prohibits me from indulging in "unnatural or distracting haircolors", but if such things were permitted, not only would my naturally dark brown hair be littered with streaks upon streaks of dramatic highlights, but they would most certainly not be limited to varying shades of blonde and red.

* I mix stripes and polkadots. I have no regrets.

In conclusion, dear fashion police, I have no respect for your badges or your uniforms. I flip you a glow-in-the-dark nailpolished bird, drop my garishly colored pants, shake my sparkly underwear-clad booty in your general direction, and merrily thumb my overly-powdered nose at you and all you stand for.

Viva la resistance!

Now somebody pass me my Hogwarts robe and my lavender cape. I need to head to the store.

Ye gods! Okay, so I was merrily spamming LJ when the phone rings. I look at the caller ID, see it's my mom, and answer it, thinking she was just calling to say hello. I was planning on calling her tomorrow anyways, so I was just like "okay, cool", expecting her to tell me about how the dog was being a pain in the butt again and ask to hear stories of my latest adventures in terrorizing the youth of America and whatnot. Haaaa, no such luck. She instead informs me that she's been watching the weather channel and THE END IS NIGH. Oh yes, there was a tornado headed toward Denton, and she proceeds to inform me of this, in a rather panicked state. Suffice to say, a response of "dammit, if this thing takes out my net connection I'm gonna be PISSED" was apparently not the reaction she was looking for. So she's freaking out, I'm just like "dude, I didn't wanna know this!", and I reluctantly switch from Southpark to the weather channel to see what's up. Yes, tornado warning just outside Denton county. Now, please allow me to state for the record that tornados in Texas are about as rare as Harmony wank on FW, so I tend to ignore them unless there's one right down the block, in which case I might consider possibly turning off my computer so I can go outside and chase the damn thing with my camera phone or just dance around in oversized mudpuddles beneath a pretty yellow sky. So, I'm watching the weather channel and trying to get my mom to calm down, and all of a sudden the weather sirens go off. My mom hears them over the phone and is just like "OMG go get in the bathroom!" I grumble, shut down my computer, put the computer in the bathroom, and then tell her "okay, the computer's safe in the bathroom, and I'm outside smoking. It's really nice out." For the record, the current weather condition at this point was a fucking kickass storm, no funky yellow sky or weird spooky silence or anything like that, and I was starting to get stressed so I needed a smoke. I tell her this. She tells me to go get in the bathroom anyways, so I'm just like OKAY FINE, finish my smoke, and get in the bathroom. By this point, she's starting to get me rather wound up as well, telling me IN DETAIL about this ominous weather map on the TV screen which is apparently showing Denton as, like, this massive red blob of impending tornado-y doom. (Thanks, mom! I SO NEEDED TO KNOW THAT.) So I'm starting to get all jittery, and all of a sudden I hear this weird, whooshing, rumbling noise that sounds like it's coming from right above me. This immediately turns into an all-out case of "OH FUCK HOLY SHIT"...until I realize the ominous noise surrounding me has been caused by (...wait for it....wait for it....) THE UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR FLUSHING THE FUCKING TOILET. Oh noez, armageddon is upon us, one of the stoners who lives above me just took a fucking dump. I have now reached the point of flipping out over the water pipes making noises, which is, of course, completely and utterly fucking RIDICULOUS, so I stomp out of the bathroom, go turn the weather channel back on, and it turns out the tornado in question is gone, and Denton is currently under a.....*drumroll please*...thunderstorm warning. Yippie kie yie yay. So at this point, I'm just like "Mom, next time this happens? Please don't tell me!" Because if I'm about to die, I'd rather die spamming livejournal, so at least I can die happy. Okay, so I left that last part out, and was more along the lines of "I appreciate the heads up, but that scared me kind of a lot, and I'd really just rather not know about tornados." Because if I don't make eye contact, they won't chase me. It's a well-known law of physics.

I couldn't get to sleep last night, what with all the pre-Hogsmeade excitement and all, so I decided to make a helpful guidebook for the Non-Slytherins among us.

ETA: OKAY FINE. YOU ALL WIN. POSTED AT HE. And it's still under the cut here, for those of you who aren't in HE.

( images here for peeps not in HE )

Okay, this is going to sound a bit strange, but I'm really hoping somebody might be able to help me out here.

About six years ago, I bought a Pokemon bandana on eBay, and it has pretty much been an extension of my being ever since -- a combination personal trademark and all-purpose Bad Hairday rescue kit. Alas, the thing has wandered away. Best I can figure, it fell out of the van when I was helping a friend with a paper route last week. I dug through the van, my friend dug through the van, my roomie dug through the van, and the thing is gone. I have since searched eBay, various online anime stores, the Banpresto website (in Japanese, which was amusing, since I don't speak a word of it!), and have been unable to locate another one anywhere. So, I am now begging all of you, in hopes that someone reading this might be able to help. If ANYONE knows where I might be able to find another one of these things, or would be able and willing to help me acquire one, I would be eternally grateful and likely in your debt for the rest of my natural existence. Here's a basic description:

The background of the bandana is dark blue and purple, and it has two Pokemon -- Mew and Mewtwo -- on it. It was made by Banpresto, which is a Japanese toy company, at some point in 1999 or 2000. I don't know if it was a promotional item, or limited edition, or anything else. All I know is it was a Japanese import.

If anybody might be able to help, I would appreciate it more than I could say. And needless to say, if you are able to find one of these yourself and it's not something I'd be able to order online, I would be more than happy to cover cost, shipping, etc., if you'd be willing to get it to me.

Thanks a ton to anybody who might be able to help, and I apologize for the complete RANDOMNESS of this post.

My mouse is broken. I am currently operating my computer with a Gamecube controller. Yes, I have a laptop, and yes, it has a touchpad. But the sad part in all of this? I'm just more comfortable using the Nintendo controller. The even sadder part? It took me a grand total of two minutes to locate, download, and install a satisfactory piece of software designed for just this purpose. *Configuring* the damn thing was a bit more of a hassle, but well worth the battle scars, I say! Though alas, it would appear Dead Mouse Syndrome and natural selection has removed me from the icon-making gene pool for the time being. Your eyeballs are spared for now, but dammit, I shall overcome! And then all you mofoz are doomed.

ATTN: Tom and Ollie

Tigger says Statler and Waldorf are the old men in the balcony on the Muppet Show.

(I was asked to post this just now. I have no idea what it is about. Hopefully I haven't just walked into some sort of horrid joke....)

It's that time again, ladies and germs! Cracked-out icon dump ahoy! (Because my lovely roommate Becca heard I was making Coed Naked Harry Potter icons, and requested I post them out in the open. XP )

Sooo...here's the best and worst of my icon creations since the last time I did a cracked-out icon dump. These are up for grabs for anyone to take, just please credit pikacharma in the keywords\comments.

Most of these should make sense to anyone familiar with Harry Potter, but a few of them are sorta inside jokes from hogwarts_elite, mainly the "Coed Naked Squib" ones. Just to offer a quick explanation of that -- in H_E, an applicant is said to be "pushing" if they've rigged their application with the intention of trying to get sorted into a specific house. When someone is caught doing this, they are oftentimes voted as a "squib", meaning that they are not admitted into the community. Other than that, these should all be fairly self-explanatory. Enjoy! XD

Teasers:    

( 75 icons total. Most of them Coed Naked jokes. Fly high, aim low, and when you're playing Quidditch, always score in public. )

ETA: I now have an icon journal, which is casa_de_pika. All these, plus a bunch of more, are posted there.

Smartass You are 57% Rational, 85% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 85% Arrogant.

You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool-headedness. For instance, you aren't very nice. In fact, you're probably an asshole. And you are conceited and self-centered. Not only that, but you are very loud and vocal about all this, seeing as how you are extroverted. There is no better way to describe you than as a "smartass", I'm afraid. Perhaps just "ass" would do, too. But that's a little less literary and descriptive. At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical. To put it less negatively: 1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive. 2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted. 3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle. 4. You are more ARROGANT than humble. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Emo Kid. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Braggart, and the Sociopath. * * If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits. The other personality types: The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. If you like good humor, be sure to take my girlfriend's Mullet Test, because it is much more awesome than this test.</i>

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 38% on Rationality You scored higher than 85% on Extroversion You scored higher than 84% on Brutality You scored higher than 92% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

HOLY SHIT YES IT'S SNOWING!!!

Okay, whoever put something in the water, plz stop. For some reason I have been in this bizarre, floaty, halfway-here, halfway-not trance all weekend, and I do not know what's wrong with me. Thought I was coming down with something at first, but apparently not. Just...inexplicabale spaciness. So, for anyone who's had to deal with me, and been wondering why I was staring vacantly into a corner, my apologies. Hopefully my brain will re-enter the atmostphere sooner rather than later. O_o;

In other news...to whoever renewed my icon space on LJ, you fucking pwn my soul. Not that I have a soul, but if I did, you'd pwn it. I would offer you my firstborn child or something, but that would require me actually spawning, and I don't think me polluting the gene pool is something anyone would wish for, let alone something I would wish upon whatever lovely individual was kind enough to bestow upon me extended icon space. So...um...will you settle for a kitten? Or maybe a cracked out icon?

On a completely random note, I have been informed by the powers that be at Diagon that Koopa Troopas are not, in fact, magical creatures, so I cannot claim them for extra points during the "Magical Creatures" theme week. This makes me marginally sad, as does the fact that multicolored dancing virii have yet to be featured in a Harry Potter book or movie, so my Dr. Mario exploits shall not earn me extra points either. However, dragons most certainly ARE a canonical magical creature, and given that there is no evidence in the books or the movies to directly contradict the theory that some species of dragons might conceivably possess the capability to blow bubbles, I shall grab ahold of this and run with it as swiftly and shamelessly as humanly possible. The post should be up sometime later this week. As soon as I can get my brain and my ass into gear, anyways. I don't like being floaty, dammit!

Ya know, it just doesn't seem like Thanksgiving without an all-day X-Files or MST3K marathon on TV for my parents to forcibly drag me away from long enough to eat dinner, despite my desperate and marginally violent kicking, screaming, spitting, and flailing. Those were the days. The entire extended family would be in town, and I'd just be sitting there guarding the television like a rabid bear protecting a cub. TOUCH IT OR TOUCH ME AND YOU DIE. Will say though, that's one thing I'm really thankful for this year. Not the lack of MST3K or X-Files, of course, but the fact that no stampeding herd of guests came to visit and invade the house for the weekend. Only good thing that ever came of that was my entire family realizing once and for all that asking me to say grace has dire consequences. It's really their own damn fault though. They never said WHICH god I was supposed to thank! Though for some reason, I got the distinct impression that Loki, Odin, and Cthulhu were not acceptable choices. Oops. Oh well, at least now I know!

Anyways! I am procrastinating doing shit for my Diagon shop. Again. (Bah, almost done, but still.) So I will therefore spam you all with a meme, stolen from about half my friendslist.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

Hmmm. I think I am going to let last.fm speak for me.


And in case that wasn't impressive enough, here's my latest demonstration of high class, indisputable sophistication, and excellent taste:


None of you fuckers can beat that shit. Go on, try. I dare you. You will not succeed! Because NSYNC, Vanilla Ice, and Outkast on the same playlist has a certain type of synnergy bonus that's like the Captain Planet of shameless music. Alone, they are powerful forces indeed, but their powers combine to form a hulking demigod of batshit and shattered eardrums. Matter of fact, I bet it's Captain Planet's arch nemesis, Captain Noise Pollution. Especially since I got Sugarbomb in there too. There's just no excuse for that one, so it adds the extra element of evil that can pwn Captain Planet's ass. Just be grateful there's no MC Hammer or Backstreet Boys. Then it'd take over the whole damn world.

Oh shit.

If anybody tried to email me within the past 24 hours, PLEASE resend.

I just realized there was some sort of issue going on, and I've already found out about a couple emails that didn't go through. O_o;;

You are a SLYTHERIN!

As a Slytherin and as an NTP,
you are ambitious, independent, and driven to
achieve excellence. You excel at strategizing and
planning to accomplish your goals, and set very high
standards for yourself and others. You are confident,
intellectual, and can be fiercely competitive. You
may not be concerned about harmony or the
importance of feelings, and you often challenge
authority and can be deeply skeptical. You are
sometimes seen as elitist, and can be impatient
with others who you consider less competent than
yourself. However, you are also flexible, open-
minded, and ingenious, and you can be charming
company.


Hogwarts Sorting Hat: Based on Myers-Briggs Personality Typing
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow, I like this test. At no point did it ask me what my favorite colors were, what my sign was, or which animal I'd like to have as a pet. Are you sure this is Quizilla?

ETA: Since it came up in chat the other day, and since I was curious, I went and took a few actual non-HP related MBTI tests. ENTP across the board, though the N was usually only by a couple points, while the other three were by a landslide. Hmm, let's see if this description is accurate: Non-conformists, ENTPs enjoy outwitting the system and use rules and regulations within the system to win the game - whatever it may be. ...Boredom is the bane of the junior ENTP. Generally immature until their late 30s or early 40s, the young ENTP is a socially awkward animal since they rarely fit in with the herd, and require 40 years to comprehend why this is and what to do about it.

I am now officially amused.

Bwahahaa. Oh damn, I loved that ep. That's a bleepin' dead alien body if I ever bleepin' saw one! Jose Chung's From Outer Space, I believe it was. Fuckin' classic. Or would that be bleepin' classic? *snorts* Gotta love it.

ETA: ( ''What kind of smart are you?'' quiz )I think the only reason I scored like this is because "completely shameless moron" wasn't an option.

ETA II: WTF. When I actually took the test, the little star thingie was in the upper right quadrant and almost all the way at the top. O_o; Looks like it snuck across the border. I have just been outsmarted by the smart test.

Snarky!Draco - One of the best Dracos out there,
you're witty, sexy and still rather dangerous.
You're such a turn on, you. You're not
Redeemed!Draco, but you're not evil. Paired
with female characters.


Which Draco Fanfiction Cliche are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Snarking, being marginally evil, and getting paired with female characters, eh? *raises an eyebrow* How the hell did they know what I get up to in HE?! XD

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

*snorts* I hope you all realize I cheated off your papers.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.9
Mind:	5.6
Body:	7.5
Spirit:	4.5
Friends/Family:	5.9
Love:	1.4
Finance:	5.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Okay, people. All together now!
*point* *laugh* HA-HA! [/Nelson]

And on a completely unrelated note -- does anybody know if Ally McBeal is ever on anymore? I looked through the Yahoo TV listings and couldn't find it. I know it's available on DVD, but it doesn't look like it's on TV anymore, alas. FX would be the most likely candidate, and while they do indeed get many mad props for showing The Practice, I could still use an Ally fix. Especially that one episode with the infamous "How dare you live, YOU GIANT ASS!" rant. XD